How many times have you thought about either (a) trying something new, (b) changing something fundamental about yourself, (c) talking to friends or family about something awkward, upsetting, difficult, etc, but you decide not to because of “The Fear“?
Fear of failing at something new
Fear of being rejected
Fear of making a fool of yourself
Fear of what people might think of you
Fear is real. Fear is a genuine emotion and feeling. I am not, for one moment, disputing or invalidating how powerful it can be.
What I am taking issue with, is that this one tiny word stands in the way of so much opportunity, particularly when the prospect of success, achieving greatness and self-improvement, are at stake.
Fear can have an impact on every single area of life – to name just a few that have popped into my mind whilst thinking about this, I could include: fear of getting into a relationship because you might get hurt, fear of lifting a heavier weight in the gym because it could hurt you or you might not succeed, fear of being fired for asking for a pay rise at work (which you are wholly entitled to), fear of being too open, vulnerable and seen as a weakling by friends or family so you don’t open up…
I can honestly say that I’ve experienced all of the above. I would be hugely surprised (pleasantly) if there were people out there who had not felt these feelings.
So, I guess you’re wondering what made me dive into this topic. Well, I’ll tell you. I was sitting at work, feeling sorry for myself because of the daily struggles I encounter as a trainee lawyer. It feels as though I’m on a rollercoaster, in respect of both my emotions and my workload. To be fair, the whole point of being a trainee is to try all aspects of work in the department you are seated in, because, it is all about learning! However, when you have tried drafting something for the umpteenth time, and still aren’t quite getting it, or worse, you draft it, and haven’t been told that the brief or instructions has changed, you cannot help but feel like a total failure.
I have to actively make myself switch off the thoughts that I am failing. It’s pretty damn hard, I wont lie!
The way I try to make myself see it, is that, at the end of the day, if I don’t try for the umpteenth-and a half time, that could be the time I nail it, and the satisfaction and sense of achievement I might feel, would override those failure feelings in abundance.
I completely know how difficult it is to get out of that crappy mind-set once you are firmly stuck in it. All I know is, it is not healthy for you, and will not help you achieve anything any quicker.
So, take that risk.
Speak to your friends and family.
Lift that heavy weight.
Ask for that pay rise.
What is the worst that could happen? You embarrass yourself? Someone says no? SO WHAT?!
IT IS YOUR LIFE – AND YOU NEVER EVER WANT TO REGRET THE “WHAT IFS”.
I promise that the risk will be worth taking. Maybe not every time, but that one time it pays off, will make you instantly forget the times it did not.
My wish for everyone this week (and always) is to not let fear hold you back.
We are built far too strong for that.
As ever, please share your comments and/or thoughts on this with me in the box below. I’m happy to hear about what your fears are, or how you overcome them. I need all the help I can get… with 11 months of trainee life still to go.
And remember… “Stay Hangry“
~The Hangry Lawyer, xoxo~